Don't know what to do anymore :(?

You are in a bind. If you are that unhappy where you are now and it isn't gonna get any better, come back (wherever that may be), you will just have to face the music, you basically defrauded your creditors , so come.back and start the long painful process of rebuilding your credit and stay with your mother. Just remember credit isn't everything, just let this whole ordeal serve you a valuable lesson. Good luck.